This time of year is the time of “reconnection.”  The holidays bring connections with family and friends; we remember the people in our lives for whom we are thankful; we send Christmas cards to reconnect with people we don’t see often enough.  All are ways we reconnect with people who have been important in our lives.

Being able to reconnect with people who have been significant in your life is important.  It allows you to reconnect with your old self.  It allows you to remember significant experiences that helped shape you into who you are today.  It connects you with the people who witnessed your growth.  It allows you to reflect on who you used to be, how you have changed, and how you have stayed the same.  It gives you a perspective on your life that is often missed in the hustle and activity of our daily lives. 

I don’t know about you, but I often lose sight of how far I’ve come.  I sometimes minimize the gains I’ve made and have forgotten about the decisions I’ve made that have led me in the directions I’ve gone.  However, in the course of explaining to someone what I’ve been doing since they saw me last, I end up reconnecting not only with them, but with myself. 

I am able to get perspective on what I have been doing.  I am able to see my changes through someone else’s eyes.  I end up examining the decisions I’ve made and how I’ve made them, as I attempt to explain them to someone else.  I am able to see more clearly those forks in the road that have led me to where I am now.   Additionally, I am able to notice that things I might have thought were so significant at the time don’t even make the cut for sharing with others.

I am also able to notice those same things in the people with whom I am reconnecting.  They, too, have made decisions and had experiences that have shaped their lives.  We have a common history that connects us.  And we sometimes discover that we also have other commonalities in our lives today.  Interestingly, we sometimes discover similar passions or similar values.  So, even though we may have lost touch for awhile, the core of our relationship has remained.   Sometimes there is even a strengthened connection.

I find that sometimes, with the people to whom I am truly connected, the relationship resumes as if it has never been interrupted.  The connection is there, and it is solid and comfortable.  There is no awkwardness.  We reconnect as if the connection had never been lost.  That doesn’t always happen, but it is a special treat when it does.    

When I reconnect, it reaffirms what is important to me in my life, and the value those relationships have for me.  Those reconnections help show me myself, and help reaffirm the directions my life has taken, or underscore directions I’d like to explore further.  

Reconnections can both affirm you and challenge you.  It is natural to compare your life to those whose lives once ran in tandem with yours.   Your life may be different than you’d thought.  Probably their life is also different than they had thought it would be.   Those reconnections can sometimes challenge us to look at where we are, and identify things we would like to change.  Or they can sometimes confirm that we are living the life we are intended to live, even if it wasn’t how we thought it would be when we started out. 

We can value those relationships that helped shape us, even if we don’t reconnect often.  Those people have influenced our lives and the reconnections help reinforce the lessons. 

© 2008, Linda S. Pucci, Ph.D.

Linda Pucci, Ph.D. is a psychologist, life coach, trainer and owner of Inner Resource Center, LLC in Maryville, TN.  She has 30 years of experience helping people overcome obstacles and self-sabotage by using her solution focused approach.  She is dedicated to helping people find the resources they need to transform their lives.  For more information and free resources, go to http://www.InnerResourceCenter.com

Category: Friendships · Relationships