Finding the “Right Relationship.”  Sounds wonderful, doesn’t it?  It speaks of romance and “happily ever after.” 

First of all, let me clarify something.  I’m not a believer that there is only ONE “right” person for each of us.  I think there may be a lot of “right” people for you. 

What makes a person “right?”  I believe it has to do with both of you bringing out the best in each other.  When the relationship clicks, and you are in synch with each other, the things the relationship can be or do surpass what either of you can do alone.  There is a synergy that takes the relationship beyond the individual, and allows each person in the relationship to grow as well.  A relationship like that is truly something special.  

Relationships like this are not just built on attraction, although that certainly plays a role.  Relationships that are “right” are built on shared values, shared interests, and at least some shared beliefs. 

While you don’t have to have everything in common, having common values is probably the most important.  After all, your values reflect what is most important to you.  If you don’t agree on the things that are most important in your lives together, you are likely to have major difficulties later on.

The key is that there have to be points of intersection in the relationship—where you really DO have some things in common.  You don’t have to like the same foods.  You don’t have to like all the same activities.  You don’t have to agree politically.  You don’t have to squeeze the toothpaste the same way.  But you do have to have some areas of genuine connection. 

You have to be willing to put your needs aside for the good of the relationship.  When you have the connection with the “right relationship,” you are willing to be your partner’s biggest supporter, even if you don’t agree with him/her. 

You have to be willing to do whatever you can do to bring out the best in each other. It isn’t always easy, but when that is in place, you’ve set the stage for a relationship that might be “right.” 

© 2008, Linda S. Pucci, Ph.D.

Linda Pucci, Ph.D. is a psychologist, life coach, trainer and owner of Inner Resource Center, LLC in Maryville, TN.  She has 30 years of experience helping people overcome obstacles and self-sabotage by using her solution focused approach.  She is dedicated to helping people find the resources they need to transform their lives.  For more information and free resources, go to http://www.InnerResourceCenter.com

Category: Dating · Relationships