What are some of the initiators of or catalysts for change — occurrences that set change in motion?  I sometimes call these “Change Drivers.”  It must be my academic nature that “drives” me to name things, to categorize, to try to understand. . .!

Ø      Success

We may think we want success, but even the most successful people must cope with changes in their lives that stem from their success.  A variety of issues plague successful people; examples include a busier schedule, more stress, escalating power politics, loss of privacy, or conflict between family and work.  Even those lucky people who have won the lottery have found that their lives were never the same. And those graduating from college, or building a business, know how vast the changes are in one’s lives.

Ø      Loss

The necessary coping is very apparent for those subjected to negative change or loss.  Examples include loss of a spouse or family member, a career, a self-identity, financial security, or being needed.  Even the attainment of a goal, such as earning a degree, can feel like a loss - a loss of that goal, of that process, of the life that accompanied that process, and of the self-identity that goes with the role of student. It seems we lose many things over life, and at times those losses seem overwhelming.

Ø      Failure

Don’t we all hate this one? Yeah, yeah, we have all heard of the silver lining, or learning from one’s mistakes! But failing at attaining certain goals may cause embarrassment and loss of self- or social-image.  Failure-related terms have negative connotations.  Replacing them with a more positive “spin” may be helpful.  What seems like failure in any given situation may really be an opportunity for growth, for renewal, or for learning.  More on that later. . .

Ø      LifeShifts

Then there are those whose changes cannot be described as either negative or positive.  Some people’s personalities or ways of being, just shift, and they, too, must cope. Let’s use the term “mid-life crises” as an example.  I prefer to use a more positive perspective and call it a “strategic re-evaluation.” At certain points in life, we may re-evaluate our situations; where we intended to be in life, and how we are proceeding toward our goals using our current strategies.  If those strategies no longer seem workable (meaning, we are not where we wanted to be nor will we get there doing what we are doing), we may make a change.  Sometimes external forces keep us from making a change - a partner will not agree, a sick parent must be cared for, etc.  In those cases, we desire to make a change but cannot.  Regardless, we still need to cope with our shifting perspective.

Ø      Defining Moments

During life, we have what may be called “defining moments” (I thought I invested this term, but Dr. Phil uses it so often!) or moments of significant external change or internal shifts.  Perhaps we reach a certain age.  Perhaps we find God, or become enlightened. Perhaps, perhaps, perhaps. .  Regardless, a defining moment may lead to an inner journey or evolutionary process, and we may emerge from that process a transformed individual.

Category: JoNel's Blog