Initiating Change

. . .Everyone has change at some point in life. . .

What are some of the initiators of or catalysts for change — occurrences that set change in motion?  I sometimes call these “change drivers”: success, loss, failure, lifeshifts, and defining moments.

Success
We may think we want success, but even the most successful people must cope with changes in their lives that stem from their success.  A variety of issues plague successful people; examples include a busier schedule, more stress, escalating power politics, loss of privacy, or conflict between family and work.

Loss
The necessary coping is very apparent for those subjected to negative change or loss.  Examples include loss of a spouse or family member, a career, a self-identity, financial security, or being needed.  Even the attainment of a goal, such as earning a degree, can feel like a loss - a loss of that goal, of that process, of the life that accompanied that process, and of the self-identity that goes with the role of student. It seems we lose many things over life, and at times those losses seem overwhelming.

Failure
We may feel we fail at attaining certain goals, which causes us embarrassment and loss of self- or social-image.  Failure-related terms have negative connotations.  Replacing them with a more positive “spin” may be helpful.  What seems like failure in any given situation may really be an opportunity for growth, for renewal, or for learning.

LifeShifts
Then there are those whose changes cannot be described as either negative or positive.  Some people’s personalities or ways of being, just shift, and they, too, must cope.

Let’s use the term “mid-life crises” as an example.  I prefer to use a more positive perspective and call it a “strategic re-evaluation.” At certain points in life, we may re-evaluate our situations; where we intended to be in life, and how we are proceeding toward our goals using our current strategies.  If those strategies no longer seem workable (meaning, we are not where we want to be, nor will we get there doing what we are doing), we may make a change.

Sometimes external forces keep us from making a change - a partner will not agree, a sick parent must be cared for, etc.  In those cases, we desire to make a change but cannot.  Regardless, we still need to cope with our shifting perspective.

Defining Moments
During life, we have what may be called “defining moments,” or moments of significant external change or internal shifts.  Perhaps we reach a certain age.  Perhaps we find God, or become enlightened. Perhaps, perhaps, perhaps. . .

Regardless, a defining moment may lead to an inner journey or evolutionary process, and we may emerge from that process a transformed individual.