First, it is helpful to understand what is happening in our lives. Change is defined as:

Change (chanj) v. changed, changing, changes. –tr. 1.a. To cause to be different; alter. n. 1.a. The act, process or result of changing; alternation or modification. 2. A transition from one state, condition, or phase to another.

Notice that here we are discussing both nouns and verbs. Change may happen to us or we may change.

I think of change as “cause”—something we must react to. Change in this sense means something in our environment that is altered, requiring us to respond in some way. Change happens around us in our family, our home, our job, our friendships, or our other relationships. It looks something like this:

Environments >>change>>SELF<<change<<Environments

Our responses generally are: resist; do nothing; shift; transition; or transform ourselves. Change can be scary, after all!

At other times, we make internal shifts. Perhaps our health changes or perhaps our frame of mind or viewpoints shift for no apparent reason. I call these internal shifts “LifeShifts.” Sometimes it is these internal shifts that cause us to change what is happening around us. Our internal changes may make us want to quit our job, or move to the country, for example. It looks something like this:

Environment<< shift<<SELF>>shift>> Environments

Which came first — the chicken or the egg? Did external forces change, hence causing us to change? Or did we change internally, thereby creating disruption in our environment? Some people will argue that we attract what we are; if things around us change, really it is we that are changing. They argue that our worlds are merely reflections of our own energies.

This book is not designed to sort that out, but rather to say, “this is our reality, now how do we determine our future.”

Before I describe some of my own coping strategies, I will say a tiny bit more about catalysts of change and the shapes of change.