Oct. 21, 2008

Perhaps!  Positive change (such as the lottery) brings opportunities galore.  Of course, studies show that lottery winners do not always fare well, but it is how one handles it.  One could make the new money a force for the good!

Negative change provides opportunities, also, so it should be celebrated.  This economic downturn might help us all gain new perspectives, and they may be even better than our old perspectives. . . .   We may become more frugal, more thankful, we may recycle more, we may connect with our mates more, we may find simple pleasures. . . .

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Giving is the title of Bill Clinton’s book, which I have not yet read.  But I agree that giving can be a great healer during times of stress. . . .   I mentioned somewhere on this site the wonderful homecoming I had when I returned from a trip to find my entry loaded with gifts, carefully and artfully placed, by my neighbors.  And I recall one Christmas when a friend, who was having a particularly hard time, found anonymous gifts on her front porch on each of the mornings of the Twelve Days of Christmas.  She later found out it was a family who ‘adopted’ someone each Christmas for a similar bevy of anonymous gifts.  How wonderful!  And I recently read that Tony Bennett opened his door to a choir of singers, engineered by a musical friend.  It was his first Christmas alone and his friend knew it.

Our nation is in chaos, but if we all step up and begin giving rather than taking, we will be a better nation and better people for it. . .

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excerpt from Pink magazine, Nov 2008

• Thou shalt not take the Blackberry to any table with food on it or family around it.
• Thou shalt not use the Blackberry in lieu of responding to a child’s request.
• Thou shalt not use the Blackberry as reading material in the event of insomnia.
• Thou shalt not check the Blackberry as if it were your baby.
• Thou shalt not confuse the number of e-mails with self-worth.
• Thou shalt do everything possible to misplace the Blackberry on weekends.
• Thou shalt not place the Blackberry within distance of hearing its incessant beeps while at home.
• Thou shalt remember that a Blackberry is not a body appendage.
• Thou shalt refrain from bringing the Blackberry to family events
• Thou shalt never, ever bring the Blackberry to bed.

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Are you, like so many Boomers, The Accidental Retiree?  Maybe you did not mean to retire, but the economy slowed, the job did not work out, or you had health issues.  Many can relate, based on personal anecdotes.

Below are some tips to help through this time:

• Don’t isolate!  It’s so easy to feel like a failure, to start staying home, to hide in bed, to forget to get out.  It does not help that it is difficult to answer the normal cocktail party question: “What do you do?”
• On that note, find a canned answer to that question, and practice it.  For example: I am a ChangeArtist; I am on a sabbatical to do some writing; I am restructuring and reassessing some of my goals.  I really threw someone off when he asked what I did, and I responded “I am” or “just being”— something like that.  Yet, that’s how I felt! 
• Network.  Although this is the HARDEST time to network, it is also the most important time to do so.  Find your resources; list them; let them know how they can help, but without sounding needy.
• Stay active, get out, do things, join new groups, be vibrant.
• Exercise.  You will feel better and this may be the perfect time to get in shape.  It will help your image to others, and increase your self esteem.
• Analyze your situation.  The book ChangeArtist (available via this site) gives you strategic planning steps to help analyze your situation.
• Use the Balance Wheel on this site to analyze where you are and where you want to be on each of the 7 elements.  List what strategies you need to employ to get you further to a 10.  List tactics (activities) to support each strategy.
• Attend to your physical and emotional health, as stress can affect them negatively.
• Attend to your finances and make sure you stay in good financial shape.  Cut back if need be.
• Analyze your image and see if you like it.  Perhaps investing in a new look or clothing may lift your spirits or update your image or even take you into a new desired image.
• Prepare yourself to take advantage of opportunities. Catch up on doctor’s appointments and other things on your lists.  You will feel better about yourself, your life, and they will not burden you if the right job or situation comes along. 
• Read about loss and transition.  This is what you are going through, and studying it will help you understand it and cope better with it.
• Think of goals you could create and accomplish during this ‘down time.’
• Discuss with yourself if perhaps this is not just a small shift, but requires a huge shift in how you live life, in what you see yourself as doing, in how you live.  This may be a major directional change, due to age, change in finances, environmental shifts, or other external or internal changes.  It may be time for a totally new direction.  Open yourself to possibilities, brainstorm, and try not to limit your future.  Be open and eager for tomorrow. 
• Keep good notes to remind yourself of your many good thoughts and ideas.
• Find or create a support group, call on friends, let others keep you buoyant.
• Find your inner creativity as a way to express your frustrations, your ideas, and your overall essence.
• Volunteer or work part-time in new areas of interest as a way of trying them out.
• Accept your emotions: they may range from happiness to sadness, to loss, to excitement.  However, put aside negative energy during interviews.
• Highlight your life skills; you have learned much as you have worked in various jobs.  Identify those and leverage them, be they teambuilding, how to identify and solve problems, conflict resolution, or other skills based on your numerous experiences.
• Try to (re)create self-confidence.  List your skills for yourself.  Be kind to yourself.  Do what it takes to create and/or restore self-confidence and self-esteem.  Create a plan for doing so and adhere to it.
• Enjoy the ride and enjoy the next adventure!

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The above is from A.D.A.M. materials, and is abbreviated here.  I have added other information from other sources.

• Have a set schedule for wake-up and going to bed, and stick to it, even on trips.
• Excessive time in bed disrupts sleep, so use it for sleeping and sexual relations, but not for working, reading, etc.
• Exercise before dinner, but not before bedtime: exercising before bedtime may increase alertness.
• Do something relaxing before bedtime, such as reading, meditation, or a leisurely walk.
• Keep the bedroom relatively cool and well-ventilated.
• If you have trouble sleeping, do not obsess over the clock.
• Have dinner 4-5 hours before bedtime, and eat light.
• Avoid fluids right before bedtime, to avoid having to get u pin the night.
• Avoid caffeine in the hours before sleep.
• Spend 30 minutes in the sun each day, preferably in the morning.
• If distracted by a sleeping partner, go to the guest room or another place.
• If you have trouble getting to sleep in the first 30 minutes, do something relaxing by dim light; avoid bright lights.
• If worrying is keeping you from sleeping, thinking of imagery rather than words may make sleeping more easy.
• Avoid fruit or other sugars before bed.  Eat or drink protein before bed.

[The above is from A.D.A.M. materials, and is abbreviated here.  I have added other information from other sources.]

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Oprah.com had a list of what Oprah knows for sure.  I have selected some of my favorites and redefined them to apply to my own beliefs:

• You define your own life.  Write your own script.
• Love doesn’t hurt—it feels really good.
• What you put out comes back all the time.
• The past has no power over you, if you choose not to give it power.
• Worrying is wasted energy—use that energy to do something.
• You become what you believe.
• Trust your instincts and intuition.
• Let passion drive your profession.
• Every day brings a chance to start over.
• When you don’t know what to do, get still.  The answer will come.
• Trouble doesn’t always last.

And from me:

• Most things have silver linings.  Search for them.
• Find your own Truth.
• Turn problems into opportunities.
• Change provides opportunities.
• Follow the Golden Rule.

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Oct. 20, 2008

People go through change all of the time.  Why are we scared to discuss it?  My goal is to bring change out of the shadows, so we can feel okay with it, whether it is ‘good’ change or ‘bad’ change.

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Oct. 19, 2008

There are silver linings in everything.  Even in all this turmoil!  I firmly believe that. 

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Oct. 18, 2008

I know I am loved, and that is a wonderful thing.  I look around at family and friends, and know they love me, even when they do not express it.

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Oct. 17, 2008

Amidst the angst of the economic downturn, I searched for my roots.  I know I am from the Midwest, know how to work hard, know how to plant a garden, know how to scale back if need be, know how to trust in God, know how to be kind to others, know how to cook my own food, know how to find my own internal bliss.  After reminding myself of these things, I felt much better. . . .  I am very fortunate to have had the upbringing I did. . . .simple survival.

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